Friday, July 23, 2010

Suspicious plants and burgers

So today I decided to play as Botanist as I read this was a pretty relaxed job with not many responsibilities. That’s exactly what I needed, with the ability to do some experimentation.

The hydroponics laboratory

So I head over to Hydroponics and there is already a botanist there. I say hello and follow the instructions on the wiki in order to grow some plants. Dispense seed from vending machine, add seed to pot, add compost, use watering can and wait until harvest time! Sounds easy enough. Unfortunately, the other botanist stole my watering can and told me I “sucked” and wasn’t allowed it. So I sent a report in to the admin (i.e. cried to the teacher) who did nothing. Then this punk kept knocking me out and disarming me whenever I picked anything up. Finishing with trying to stuff me into a locker and me running circles around the room to get away from him. Not fun times here.

Fortunately the round ended quickly and the game reset. I decided to gamble and pick botanist once more with the hopes that he’d either log off or pick another career. My gamble paid off and I was back in the game with a new colleague.

In take two, I decide to head over to the genetics lab to give a dose of radiation to my seeds before I plant them. I read this does two things; reduces their gestation times and other attributes, and also gives them a slim chance of mutating them! We can but hope. After waiting for a geneticist to open the door for 5 minutes, I put my seeds in, set the radiation going but unfortunately killed 2 out of 3 of them with excess radiation. Whoops. I collect up my remaining seed and head home, again waiting 5 minutes to be let out of the laboratory. Back in the lab, I spot a few things growing. These plants look suspiciously like cannabis! I certainly don’t remember seeing those seeds in the vending machine. Sure enough, that’s what they are. The other botanist informed me that he’d hacked the vending machine using a tool kit and was growing weed to make into spliffs for passers by. With the fumes clouding my vision, I attempt to grow my altered tomato plant with the hope it’ll turn into killer or exploding tomatoes. Unfortunately it didn’t, but at least I was allowed to harvest this time without being stuffed into a locker. I also grew some grapes and melons.

I figured that the chef might want these so I packed up my bag and took them to the mess hall. This must be McDonalds because there’s a clown in here, eating a burger. I dump my produce on to the floor and the chef thanks me, stuffing them into his bulging pockets. He asks me if I’d like a burger. I say thanks and pick it up from the table. It’s only then that I notice the description. It’s called a reverend burger. Looking at it in more detail and there’s a name on it too. Ask no questions; tell no lies, is my motto as I tuck into my delicious meaty burger.

A while later I come back to the mess hall and I see the clown being dragged into the back of the kitchen by the chef. Then what makes me laugh most of all is when the clown exclaims “Help, he’s going to make me into burgers” to be responded with “Sorry about that, I didn’t realize you were asleep, I thought you were dead”. I was looking forward to some tasty clown burgers. I think I need to be chef next!

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